


What's Your Secret?

by MetasActReon



Series: Autistic Carlos is Beautiful [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: ... yet, Autism, Awkward Carlos, Awkward Dates, Awkwardness, Carlos is Autistic, Carlos is Demisexual, Carlos is a Dork, Cecil Has A Third Eye, Cecil Has Changing Eye Colors, Cecil Might be Human or Inhuman, Cecil is Hiding Something, Demisexuality, Fluff, Leads to more?, M/M, Mystery, No Smut, Other work will contain smut, Sets up another work, Stimming, date fluff, gum is stimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 19:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MetasActReon/pseuds/MetasActReon
Summary: Carlos wants to take the next leap in his relationship, but Cecil doesn't seem to be ready. Is he hiding something? Will he ever be ready?This is a cute, awkward date that may lead to more...





	What's Your Secret?

**Author's Note:**

> I ramble. Carlos rambles. Me writing in a third person Carlos-centric point of view... rambling2. So, yeah, domestic adorable awkward dating stuff and rambling. This is what you are in for.  
> No smut yet. That's for next time.  
> Small warning, asexuality is mentioned and some of the commentary is eye rollingly ‘ugh, not this again.’ I tried to make it funny and supportive at the same time as being educational. I am a sex-repulsed ace. Don't smite me. (Questions are ok, I'm open to questions.)

     “Relax, Carlos,” Carlos whispered outside of the station, chewing on strawberry gum that he didn't particularly like one bit. Today, he had ran out of the lavender gum he always carries on himself and since the team wasn't in the lab today where he had back up, he had to settle with the gum his coworker, Rochelle, offered him instead. In his rush to get cleaned up and make it to the station on time, he had forgotten to grab more of his gum. This gum... the flavor was too strong, the smell not strong enough... or right...

     Carlos would normally be listening to The Voice’s broadcast right now (though he could vaguely hear it from some nearby propaganda loudspeakers which were less clustered here than in Downtown,) waiting for when Cecil ended it, but he was a bundle of nerves, rocking his torso back and forth a little in an attempt to calm down. That... beautiful man he’s about to go on another date with was beyond anything Carlos could have dreamed up. Carlos wasn't normally the person to really take the lead in these relationship things, but Cecil... as interested as Cecil clearly was, he didn't exactly seem eager about moving this relationship further. Carlos appreciated it, having always felt awkward when his previous partners had shown sexual interest before he had fully gotten to know them that well, but Cecil... Cecil had been so easy to develop with. He was beautiful, amazing, his voice was (dare he say) perfect, and he actually cared about boundaries and how Carlos felt (until you got him talking, then good luck on stopping him before he embarrasses everybody involved.) Yes, the only time Cecil ever made him uncomfortable was when Cecil was gushing over how perfect he was. It was a different kind of uncomfortable than having some random guy or chick look him up and down like a dog looking at steak, though. It was a different kind of uncomfortable than someone getting too touchy before it felt right. This uncomfortable was actually endearing. It makes him feel (awkwardly) special and loved.

     It's amazing how much just caring could speed up Carlos’s sexual attraction to someone. (It also helped that they took a year to start dating, but Carlos was just counting the dating to sexual attraction phase of his relationships.) He had never been with someone who wanted to learn him so well, learn where and when he could be touched, learn what calms him down and when what would calm him down in one situation would do the opposite in another. Yeah, things were a little rocky here and there, but there’s a reason Cecil has more free reign over Carlos's body than anyone ever had before.

     Cecil felt safe. Cecil felt secure. Any touch from Cecil can either calm Carlos down or send his mind into euphoria. Cecil's lips are soft electro-stimulators, buzzing with energy and love wherever they touch. His hands can be like light ropes, just reminding Carlos he is there, keeping him grounded in the moment; or boulders that roll stress away from his shoulders. Those arms can give magical hugs that just seep with safety or make Carlos feel like gravity has lifted just a little. (Again, it just feels that way. As far as Carlos has been able to study, Cecil does not seem to possess any more control over gravity than any other normal human being.) That time when Carlos ended up huddling in the bathroom in fear of whatever Station Management was doing, Cecil had come in and hugged him, so tightly and securely, talked him down to a state where he could understand that it was over, that Station Management was back in their office-

_Oh, wait, where am I going with this... Oh yeah!_

     -And Cecil’s feet can send flutters up Carlos’s spine. He had to tell Cecil when he was ok with them, for he had once told Cecil that footsie during professional coffee meet ups was absolutely not ok. And Cecil had held back until then. Cecil cared, so Cecil learned, and Carlos learned that caring went a long way.

     When Carlos was happy and comfortable, he only needed to know that Cecil was in the area to find himself leaning back into surprise hugs. Once Cecil took him by full surprise at the lab and had broken it off the moment Carlos had jumped, apologizing profusely for scaring him. Just looking into Cecil's eyes Carlos couldn't help but hug him, feeling safe once more. Cecil was beyond anything Carlos thought could exist in a boyfriend, much less one he would have any chance with, and now... Now he just wanted to make sure he does things right, but, _damn_ , he’s been getting horny thinking about him anymore.

     But now Carlos was actually starting to wonder what Cecil really wanted. Maybe he was asexual. But does that mean he's sex-repulsed? The times Carlos came onto him these past few weeks had ended awkwardly, and Carlos was beginning to feel a little guilty. Was he doing to Cecil what every other partner had done to him? Was he pushing Cecil towards something that is just more than what he wants to handle?

     Carlos was yanked out of his thoughts as the door to the station opened and out walked that beautiful man. He had an average build about him, not tall and not short, not thin but not fat; but, somehow, he made it not at all average. He made it absolutely stunning. Carlos couldn't help but freeze and stare, his heart fluttering a little, as he took in the crazy outfit Cecil chose for today: neon green skinny jeans, light up sneakers, a pastel pink western style flannel and _is that actually a bolo tie with the Night Vale eye symbol on it?_

     “You, uh, look great,” Carlos stated, his cheeks getting just a tad bit darker though he managed to smile without looking too flustered. The more he looked at Cecil the more adorable the man became. How a grown man could be so adorable, Carlos had no clue. It must just be a Cecil thing, because every flamboyant and mismatched outfit made him as cute as a freaking puppy. Carlos was still learning how to fully deal with that.

     Cecil flashed that grin that made Carlos feel as if he was about to melt. Cecil rested a hand on Carlos's shoulder and gave him a kiss, the other hand wandering into that perfect hair. Suddenly Cecil pulled away, his brow furrowed. “Your hair is slicked back,” he announced, the grin gone.

     “Yeah, um, I was trying to, you know, look more formal this time...” Carlos muttered, now a little worried he made the wrong call.

     Cecil inspected it for a moment, his lips going straight in concentration. “It does look rather formal,” he stated before smiling. “Just a little off, from usual. You look perfect formal as well.”

     “I'm not that formal,” Carlos muttered. He was still wearing his lab coat, after all. Partially because he did just get off work, and partially because Cecil seemed to be rather obsessed with his lab coats, and mostly partially because the familiar weight on his shoulders helped him keep a more level head. “We should, you know, get going. Reservations and all.”

     “Of course!” Cecil quickly opened the door to the passenger side of his car and motioned for Carlos to get inside.

     “You don’t have to do that,” Carlos mumbled, blushing and feeling even more special than he believed he was.

     Cecil just grinned. “I love doing it for you.”

     He closed the door carefully before quickly hopping in and getting the car moving, since they had spent more time in front of the station than originally planned. Once on the road, Cecil drove with one hand, letting his right wander into Carlos’s hair. He frowned at once, again feeling the brittle shell that held it in place.

     Carlos looked down at his feet. “You hate it, don’t you?”

     “It looks nice, it just doesn’t feel nice,” Cecil assured him.

     Carlos sighed. He tried too hard. He was already screwing things up before the date even started. “Do you have a brush in here?” He asked, a little dejectedly. Cecil frowned, a small pit in his stomach as he knew his reactions must’ve hurt Carlos. He reached into the divider and located his collapsible brush. “Here.”

     Carlos brushed the gel out of his hair, freeing it up to fall everywhere again. He needed a haircut but was afraid of starting another ‘Telly the Barber’ instance.

     “... So... New gum?”

     “Ugh, it’s Rochelle’s,” Carlos instantly replied, still struggling with getting the gel out.

     Cecil chuckled. “Want yours?”

     Carlos brightened up. “Oh, you started carrying some, that’s right!” He eagerly took one of the sticks Cecil grabbed out of his pocket. Without thinking, he pulled out the old gum and threw the new gum in. He gave a small moan of relief as the smell that was finally right washed over him. Realizing that he was now holding chewed gum in front of Cecil he awkwardly crumpled the wrapper around it and put it in his pocket. He quickly returned to brushing the gel out of his hair, letting the the hair fall into his face to hide his embarrassment.

 

. . .

 

     It wasn’t long before they were both getting out of the car to go to Gino's Italian Dining Experience and Grill and Bar. Despite the place being special and the dining areas being mostly private, Carlos was still nervous due to how this date had been going so far. He did his best not to show it as they ended up at a table in a room that looked exactly like their first did. (Carlos internally kicked himself for not paying enough attention to take notes on how that worked, ending up at their table, that is.) They ordered their mushrooms after looking over the menu, as was customary, and settled into an awkward silence.

     “So... How was your day?” Cecil asked, trying to get past the whole gelled hair incident.

     “We haven’t had much luck with that boulder that appeared in the middle of main street yesterday,” Carlos groaned, forgetting about his awkwardness and mistakes and his current relationship dilemma. “Dave tried yelling at it but it only made this _EEEEEERRRRR!!!_ sound and glowed red until Dave finally ran away screaming. When we found him he had fallen into that hole behind the Ralph’s and the huddlers were huddled around him, comforting him from whatever that boulder did... The other scientists have been scared to approach it since. I’ve gotten more readings off it, but everything we find out just confuses me further. So we huddled around and hmmed a lot, writing in our clipboards, trying to think of how to get rid of it. We had to stop another crane car because they thought _maybe since it was a new day there would be more luck with physical force,_ but it’s not worth the risk of having another vehicle turn into a literal monster truck and rampage again! It’s so frustrating, Cecil. I tried throwing some smaller rocks at it, but it deflected them right back at me an-”

     “Did you get hurt?”

     “Well, I did get a pretty bad bruise and had the wind knocked out of me,” Carlos muttered, tapping his chest and wincing. It felt worse now. Maybe the rib was bruised as well.

     “Oh Carlos, is there anything I can do?”

     “No, I can’t think of anything... Thanks though,” he smiled, glad that he remembered to thank him for that. It was worth it seeing Cecil beam at him, his eyes definitely glowing an orchid color. _Gosh, his eyes are so amazing,_ Carlos thought dreamily, thankful that Cecil’s eyes could catch his attention so well. Carlos had been studying different shades of purple to recognize the emotions in his eyes better and had a running list of what each color meant in the back of his notebook.

_Orchid for delight and joy. Amethyst for neutral. Liliac for love and adoration. Heather for hurt. Periwinkle for worry? Lavender for fear. Grape for disgust. Boysenberry for anger... or is it indignation? Both? Violet for-_

     “Carlos? Carlos?”

     “Hm?”

     Cecil smiled. “What’s up?”

     “Oh, uh, n-nothing,” Carlos muttered through his blush. _How embarrassing._ “Wh-where was I?”

     “The boulder hit you with a rock,” Cecil muttered with a hiss.

     “Oh, yeah. After that Dave started panicking and we ended up returning to the hole behind Ralph's so that they could calm Dave back down and, you know what, Cecil?” Plates of bleeding portabella were placed in front of the two, but Carlos barely noticed. “They invited all of us down there! Everyone decided they would go in a show of support for Dave, but I wasn't so sure. I found a ladder to make sure we could all get out because I couldn't see a way out and a scientist is always prepared so we all went down and huddled and, Cecil, they gave me room. Everyone was all together, but they gave me a foot of distance! They are very intune with people and knew I didn't like being touched by strangers so they didn't touch me. They're really nice and inclusive and they are so supportive! We ended up talking science with them. Most didn't really grasp all the ideas but they thought with us and did their best to contribute, the other scientists shared their clipboards with them. We went back and tried both our and their ideas, we even got a big blackboard and wrote the scientific formula of how things can disappear if they are small enough, thanks to the help of one of the quantum physicists that was fed up with one of the entrances to the science district being blocked off, but _nothing_ was working, Cecil. Finally Rochelle gave me some gum because I ran out of mine and made me quit, reminding me that I had a date tonight... I ran to the lab, made sure I was ready and... well, gelled my hair at that point before walking over to the station.”

     Cecil sat with his chin in his hand, staring at Carlos with eyes of lilac, his third eye having slipped open. Carlos made sure not to point that out, still hurt from how Cecil reacted the first time he noticed it. Carlos gave a nervous smile. “Sorry, I rambled again, didn't I?”

     “Yes, and that's exactly what I wanted, Carlos.”

     Carlos blushed and muttered a very unconvincing, “Stop it.”

     “Oh, but I _can't!_ You are absolutely amazing, the way your hands move when you get excited, the way your brow creases to show your frustration, the way you randomly say my name; I can't get enough, Carlos.”

     Carlos smiled bashfully before realizing their food was there. “Oh, um, food's here.”

     “I know,” Cecil stated, sitting up straighter as he grabbed his utensils.

     Carlos mirrored him, trying hard not to analyze everything. He shouldn't have been that detailed, he should've saved time for Cecil to talk about his day, but now bringing that up would be awkward, wouldn't it? Well, maybe it wouldn't. Carlos swallowed and asked, “So, how was yours?”

     “My what?”

     “Your day.”

     “Oh! It was rather great, actually. I thought we had lost Intern Jenny there for a bit, but she was able to somehow escape the City Council's meeting in time. It's rather nice to be the only news source that didn't have to recognize an intern’s demise or similar type of intern loss for once.”

     Carlos nodded, paying rapt attention as he chewed his mushroom.

     “Besides that, there's not much to really report on that wasn't in my broadcast... Oh, Khoshekh was absolutely adorable today! He flipped himself upside down in his fixed location in the men's bathroom and was begging for some scratches. I was worried about getting poisoned, but he was just so cute and was being just such a good boy that I couldn't help but give him a _small_ scratch. He gave out this amazing mewl after, wanting more but I told him ‘No, I have a date with the most beautiful man in the world.’ He looked so sad but he flipped himself back over and lapped at the water, ignoring me.”

     Cecil returned to eating and the both of them soon finished their dinner in content silence.

     “Oh, they've recently added a new desert item to the menu, would you like to try it, Carlos?” Cecil asked, wiping the red off from around his mouth.

     “What is it?”

     “Cherpumple.”

     “... Ok,” Carlos slowly agreed, not entirely sure what he was signing up for.

     Cecil smiled, which only put Carlos at a little more ease. At least Cecil was a force that wasn’t _trying_ to get him killed in this town, quite the opposite in fact.

     They didn’t even have to tell anyone, it was mere minutes before their waiter entered with a bowl of... something.

     Carlos peered at it speculatively, glad that it didn’t seem alive or glowing, but he couldn’t place a finger on what dessert it looked like. Cecil, like always, was enthusiastically digging his spoon in it to try some. “Mmm, that’s great!”

     Carlos grabbed his spoon but hesitated. It still hadn’t moved or eaten through the table and Cecil was reacting just fine so... It should be safe. Then there was a spoon about 3 inches from his face. “Come on, Carlos, try it!” Carlos glanced at the owner of the hand that was holding out the spoon and Cecil was just too adorable with a splotch of cherpumple on the edge of his mouth. Carlos carefully leaned in and accepted the bite.

     “... Hmmm...” Carlos furrowed his eyebrows, finding the fruity taste familiar but, not... He found himself thinking of pie. “... What... Is that cherry?”

     “And apple and pumpkin,” Cecil nodded.

     “Why is it in a soup?”

     Cecil laughed. “Oh, Carlos. It couldn’t be made into a cake like normal cherpumple, that would require wheat.”

     Carlos looked at the bowl, shaking his head. “Has any of these restaurants heard of ‘Gluten Free?’”

     “Of course. But it’s better to not have the Sheriff’s Secret Police inspecting the place randomly to make sure it is truly legal.”

     Shaking his head even more, Carlos took a spoonful of way too many pie fillings blended together. “Sorry Cecil, it just seems a little silly.” He took a bite.

     “Wheat and its by-products is not a silly topic, Carlos. You should know, you were here!”

     Carlos swallowed, “I didn’t mean like that, I meant... Just, not using gluten free ingredients. That wheat incident was horrible.”

     Cecil nodded, accepting that response, and returned to enjoying dessert. Carlos joined him, but mentally informed himself to not let Cecil order this again. It just tasted too weird.

     After the dessert was gone, Carlos pulled out both things of gum that he still had in his pocket and left them on the plate. It wasn't like his DNA wasn't public record for anyone to get a hold of anyway. (Just a little something that he had to do in order to get into Night Vale in the first place.)

     Once the bill was paid and they had escaped out the window, Carlos grabbed Cecil’s hand to walk with him back to the car, which he was rewarded with orchids glowing eyes and a smile that lit up the world in an entirely different way.

     Soon they were in the car and Carlos leaned over to pull Cecil into a kiss. Cecil happily kissed back, bringing one hand up into Carlos's hair. Carlos slowly, suggestively, put a hand on Cecil's leg, mere inches from his crotch.

     “Carlos,” Cecil gasped, breaking the kiss and reaching down to remove his hand, “this was a lovely date.”

     Carlos felt that horrible pang of guilt. Cecil really didn't want this. “Yeah, thanks, it was great,” he nodded, hoping his voice didn't sell out his true emotions.

     Cecil started the car and began the short drive to the lab.

     An awkward silence had befallen the couple and it wasn't broke for a few good minutes. “Are you asexual!?” Carlos finally burst, before his face became uber dark. “I-I’m sorry, I didn't mean-”

     “Asexual? Like Dorothy?” Cecil asked, glancing at Carlos with two eyes.

     “No, no, not like Dorothy,” Carlos muttered, thinking of the actual humanoid plant that lived down Cecil’s street. “Like... Not experiencing sexual attraction.”

     “... That's what that's called? I didn't know they have a name for that.” Cecil stated, seeming to be genuinely intrigued with the term. “Asexual.”

     Carlos relaxed. So Cecil really wasn't interested in him sexually. That, he could work with that, somehow, but he could definitely figure something out if it means kee-

     Cecil opened his mouth again, his voice casual, “No, what would make you think that?”

_... What?_ “Well... it... You just, um... just seem to not be, uh, be interested in me, well you are, but no-not in that way,” Carlos stumbled, his words a little slurred from being caught off guard.

     Cecil glanced over, looking him up and down with all three known eyes, and Carlos felt like that steak he hadn't felt like for a few years. This time, though... it actually felt nice, wanted. Carlos swallowed, noticing the maroon in Cecil’s eyes. It seemed a little predatory. That was also really nice.

     Cecil looked back to the road. “That's not a problem,” he stated, his voice a little lower than his usual professional radio persona.

     Carlos swallowed again, hyper aware of his own body's reaction to that voice. “It isn't a probl-, well, wouldn't be a problem. I just... wanted to know...” He glanced at Cecil, trying to figure him out. _What does he want?_

     The jerking of tires over cracked pavement brought Carlos out of his thoughts as Cecil pulled into the parking lot. Carlos glanced at Cecil, trying to figure out just how to go about things.

     “Well, goodnight,” Cecil smiled, reaching over to give Carlos's hand a squeeze.

     “You should come in,” Carlos blurted out, before internally kicking himself.

     “Ok, yeah,” Cecil agreed, though hesitantly, his eyes showing hints of periwinkle.

     Carlos led him up to the second floor of the lab building, revealing his rather basic, and somewhat messy, living quarters with a flip of a switch. Carlos glanced over and was delighted to see Night Vale purple irises darting around, taking everything in. Carlos hung his lab coat by the door.

     “It's not much, but I have the lab below, so...” Carlos thought for a moment, wondering where in the world he had meant to go with that sentence. “Well, the door on the left leads to the bathroom and the right leads to my bedroom. It's pretty nice, really...” _Is that enough of a suggestion? Other people pick up on suggestions that vague, right?_

     “This place looks so you,” Cecil grinned, his eyes glowing orchid once more as they finally focused back on Carlos.

     “Y-yeah,” Carlos blushed. “Um... The couch is kinda comfy, if you'd like to try it out...” _What the... What kind of pick up line is that?_

     Carlos watched in amazement as Cecil eagerly went to the small sofa and sat down. Not wanting his opportunity to be ruined, Carlos joined him, ignoring the quiet chimes the couch made instead of creaks.

     “This is a nice model,” Cecil observed. “Many people seek out older ones for their musical sounds they get with age. In the last auction one that sounded like a wind chime orchestra due to its wear sold for- mm!”

     Carlos kissed him, trying to get rid of his distracted ramblings, but mostly in an attempt to set the mood, which failed as he chickened out and made the kiss sweet and gentle.

     Cecil kissed back, three eyes fluttering close. The kiss stayed soft and gentle for a good moment or two, but it soon blossomed into more. Carlos wasn't the one to deepen the kiss with passion. In fact, he was sure it was Cecil who was showing that he wanted this more than anything as he pushed Carlos into a lying position, slipping his tongue into Carlos's mouth. His tongue was split at the end, like it tended to do when their kisses were more passionate.

     Carlos was nervous, but he found himself so relieved at the same time, knowing Cecil wanted this too. He wrapped his arms around Cecil and pulled the slightly shorter man in closer. Cecil’s hands buried themselves in Carlos’s hair, gently gripping the curled locks. Cecil pressed against him and Carlos’s breath caught in his throat. Cecil was just as hard as him, if not harder. He felt a cool caress on his arm... then Cecil was gone.

     Carlos opened his eyes, confused. Cecil was off the couch, blushing brilliantly. His third eye was shut, just further making Carlos feel like something had gone wrong. “Cecil?” he asked tentatively.

     “Sorry, Carlos, I, uh, I didn't, I should go,” he muttered, clearly flustered. Cecil was never flustered.

     “Did I do something wrong?” Carlos muttered quietly, analyzing his movements of the last few minutes, and then the last few hours when he didn't notice anything inherently wrong that happened recently.

     “Of _course_ not, Carlos,” Cecil stated, his voice too focused on making sure Carlos didn't feel at fault for the scientist to make any definitive conclusion on what just freaking happened. “I lost control of myself,” Cecil sighed hanging his head.

     Carlos shook his head in disbelief. “I am fine with that... Actually, I, uh... really, well... want that...”

     Cecil’s eyes turned this mixture of baby blue and baby pink, a baby purple? Yearning? Carlos was glad for Cecil’s eye colors. It made him so much easier to read when he actually knew what the colors meant.

     “Carlos... We don't have the proper papers.”

     Carlos blinked. “... What?”

     “We need papers to... have sex.”

     “We... That’s... That’s why you...” Carlos hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. “I... I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” He hit his forehead again, feeling like a total idiot.

     “Carlos,” Cecil whispered, grabbing his hand to prevent him from hitting himself again. “Here.” He pulled out a stick of gum and offered it. Carlos quietly accepted and chewed out his frustrations.

     “I’ll submit the end of date report,” Cecil stated, carefully patting down Carlos's hair. Carlos gave a small nod, trying hard not to cry.

_How could I have been so stupid?_

     The patting disappeared and Cecil left, quietly closing the door behind him. Carlos convinced his body to get up and go over to the window. He watched Cecil drive away, his heart aching, his body longing. He felt his arm where it had been caressed so lovingly earlier and found a slight residue. Blushing furiously he began wiping it off. _Has that been there since dinner? How embarrassing!_

**Author's Note:**

> So... Adorable? Overly wordy in that autistic over-detailed way? Good. It's nice being able to write in that way time to time. My mind works that way and I really wanted to get people to get in the mind state Carlos is in. For my non autistic character centered stories I promise to limit rambling... Feel free to give me tips on how. Feel free to check out everything in the series this is in, but if you want to read where the loose ends left in this work get wrapped up and/or want smut, go to the next work. (It should be posted soon.) If you don't want smut but want to read it, let me know and I'll throw in a line to tell you when to stop/proceed with caution and add a synopsis at the end.  
> Feel free to critique. I think I accurately wrote what it is like to lust for someone in the sexual attraction sort of way... I... I honestly don't know, though... Allos are weird to me. I'm trying to understand.


End file.
